Ladies and gentlemen, let us all rise in thunderous applause for the Honorable Kelvin Shuggy Simon, the self-appointed Minister of Merriment and Masquerade! While his fellow parliamentarians wasted their time debating some so-called “important national bill,” our esteemed MP was performing a much more critical duty—representing St. Mary’s South on the grand stage of Carnival in Trinidad. A true statesman knows that real leadership happens not in the hallowed halls of Parliament, but in the revelry of the Soca Kingdom!

Why should a Member of Parliament concern himself with tedious legislative matters when there are fetes to attend and costumes to flaunt? Why engage in boring policy discussions when one could be chipping down the road with a cooler in hand? Clearly, the spirit of representation is best expressed through rhythmic gyrations rather than parliamentary speeches.

Some might argue that skipping a crucial debate is an outrageous dereliction of duty. But they fail to see the bigger picture—who needs governance when there’s bacchanal? While other MPs were tangled in the unnecessary complexities of lawmaking, Simon was showing his constituents what real priorities look like. He wasn’t bogged down by mundane details like accountability and representation. No! He was too busy ensuring that the party never stops, leading by example in the most vibrant way possible.

And let’s not forget the true villains here—those who dare to question his commitment to office. Shame on them for expecting their elected representative to actually attend Parliament! Have they no appreciation for the therapeutic benefits of a good Carnival lime? They should be thanking Shuggy for proving that leadership doesn’t have to be confined to a building with desks and microphones.

So, let us raise a glass (or a rum punch) to Kelvin Shuggy Simon, a revolutionary in public service, redefining the meaning of political duty one dance move at a time. Who needs Parliament when the party is calling? As the man himself has demonstrated, governance can wait—Soca comes first!